THE DILEMMA OF A CHRISTIAN CHILD

It’s a new day in another semester at school and some friends have not seen each other for some time. Almost all friends are sharing their experiences during the vacation. Some students who come from strict Christian homes just stand around watching and listening with amazement. It all sounds very fun and enjoying considering they had to commute straight from home to church activities and then back to their residence without being given the room to go about. Well, its not that they will want to do all the things their mates did. They just want to have fun once in a while as most people seem to do. What is your definition of fun? Is it listening to loud music, dancing at a public place, watching movies at a cinema, partying with friends, wearing fancy cloths and their apparels or even more?

The good news is, yes you do need some recreation as a young person even if you are a serious Christian. Eccl 3:1, 4 spells it out very clearly, “there is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens”. The verse 4 also says, “there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”.  In fact, your creator wants you to enjoy your youthful days as stated by Eccl 11:9, “be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment”. The last end of this quotation reminds you that although you can enjoy your youth with all the fun that you can, remember that you will account for it later. Therefore, be careful of what you consider to be fun in order for it not to lead you to something untoward. 

Even though you may doubt it at times, your parents also want you to have fun. Likely, however, your parents will have some legitimate concerns which may include: what will you be doing when decide to go have fun and who will you be going with, among other reasons.

What about if you are invited to go out with friends but you are not sure how your parents will react? When you are faced with a decision like this, the good book encourages you to consider the options you have, good and bad, and to weigh the consequences before taking any major action (Deut. 32:29; Prov. 7:6 – 23). With regards to the invitation you have received from your friends, what options do you have?

OPTION 1: DON’T ASK – JUST GO

The argument for this option: You want to impress your friends with how independent you are. You feel that you know better than your parents, or you have little respect for their judgment (Prov. 15.5).

Consequences: Your friends will learn something about you and that is, you can be deceitful. If you would deceive your parents, you might be willing to deceive your friends. If your parents find out, they’ll feel hurt and betrayed and you’ll likely be grounded! Disobeying your parents and going out anyhow is a foolish option (Prov. 12:15).

OPTION 2: DON’T ASK – DON’T GO

Why you might consider this option: You think about the offer and decide that the activity doesn’t measure up to your principles or that some of those invited would not be good company in terms of the activities planned for it (1 Cor.15:33; Phi. 4:8). You must be bold enough to say no to your friends if what they ask of you is not meeting the standard and values you have set for yourself. One on the other hand, you might want to go but don’t have the courage to ask your parents.

Consequences: If you don’t go because you know it’s a bad idea, you’ll be more confident when answering your friends. But if you don’t be simply because you lack the courage to ask your parents, you might end up sitting at home brooding and likely to be feeling that you’re the only one who’s not having fun. 

OPTION 3: ASK AND SEE

Why you might consider this option: You recognize your parents’ authority over you and respect their judgment (Col 3:2o). You love your parents and don’t want to hurt them by sneaking out behind their backs (Pro. 10:1). You also have a chance to present your case. 

Consequences: Truthful communication is the sure way to a better relationship. You should always have in mind that for you to be well understood, you should make every information on your destination and activities available so that your judgment can be trusted. In this case, your parents will feel that you love and respect them. And if hey view your request as reasonable, they are likely to say yes.