How To Make A Lasting Impression

Deborah L. Jacobs, Forbes Staff   I cover personal finance for baby boomers.

You sound great in e-mail, on social media and on the telephone. Don’t blow it in person.

So often, we make initial business contacts by e-mail or through social media, such as LinkedIn and Twitter. It may be months — or even years – before we meet. While written content shapes the first impression, the vibes we give off in person make a lasting impression. The timbre of our voice, our body language and eye contact can help or hurt everything that came before.

Some professionals prefer to think that what they say is more important than physical appearance. But in fact, folks are sizing you up before you even take off your coat, says Christine K. Jahnke, a speech coach and author of the book The Well-Spoken Woman. She recently explained that to a senior-level engineer at a large defense company who used to wear a ski parka to professional meetings. (Jahnke insisted he purchase an overcoat.)

People notice everything from your choice of clothing colors and how a jacket fits, to your hairstyle and the length of your fingernails, Jahnke says. “You don’t want anything about your appearance to be distracting — to take away from the message that you have come to communicate.”

Whether you are giving a speech; going on a job interview; or delivering a presentation, here’s how to make a lasting impression:

Modulate your voice. When we’re nervous, we speak more quickly — something that comes across both on the phone and in person. Purposely slow down. Any hesitation can make you sound unsure of yourself, but a deliberate pause can emphasize a key point.

For women, in particular, the pitch of their voices may rise when they are nervous, making them sound girlish. Whatever their age, that detracts from their credibility and sense of authority.

Before picking up the phone or heading into that important  meeting, take a cue from the yogis. Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold it for a moment or two, and then audibly exhale. Not only will it help you relax, it will improve the quality of the sound.

Maintain eye contact. Leonardo da Vinci famously said “the eyes are the window to the soul,” but there is such a thing as over doing it. You can’t hold that gaze for the whole meeting (we all need to blink once in a while), and you don’t want to seem like you’re staring. Be sure to make eye contact when you first meet someone, and when delivering your most important lines.

During pauses in the conversation, don’t look up at the ceiling – it seems like you’re trying to pluck answers out of the air. Instead, look off to the side during that pensive moment. Bring your eyes back and hold them steady as you complete a sentence; “Hand off the thought with your eyes,” Jahnke says. Too often people look away at that point because “they’re in a big hurry to get to what they’re going to say next.”

Pay attention to posture. Mother was right when she told you to stand up straight, and that’s true whether you’re tall or short. Keep your shoulders back, and never cross your arms in front of you (the closed body position). When seated, lean forward slightly, rather than leaning back into the chair, which can cause you to slump.

Mind your hands. Most meetings start with a cordial handshake. Put out your full hand, avoiding the half-handed (and halfhearted) grip, which can feel like a cold fish. Shake firmly, but don’t squeeze too hard or overdo — we’ve all been stuck in those handshakes that seem to last too long.

Watch what you do next. Clasping your hands on the table or in your lap can reveal white knuckles or lead to nervous thumb twiddling. Instead, keep hands apart, in front of you, or place one loosely over the other.

Use humor judiciously. A smile makes you look confident and relaxed. Humor, such as a funny story from everyday life, “can send a signal that you don’t take yourself too seriously, which can break the ice and help the other person relax,” Jahnke says. But be attuned to the culture of the organization and the person you’re talking with. Only use humor if it has a purpose, such as to illustrate what you’re saying.

Watch out for laughter that punctuates your sentences—another distracting, nervous mannerism, Jahnke adds. “How long can you have a conversation with someone who laughs after everything they say?”

Deborah L. Jacobs, a lawyer and journalist, is the author of Estate Planning Smarts: A Practical, User-Friendly, Action-Oriented Guide. You can follow her articles on Forbes by clicking the red plus sign or the blue Facebook “subscribe” button to the right of her picture above any post. She is also on Twitter.

SOURCE: www.inc.com