THE CHALLENGE OF SUSTAINING MARRIAGE

Once upon a time, young people had the privilege of just relaxing and waiting for their families to choose their marriage partners for them. Now, young people think that it is not possible. During those times, if any two opposite sex children were noticed to spend more time with each other, the families took the liberty to speculate that they will be good future marriage partners. Sometimes this incident happened as early as five years and above. It therefore offered the family the chance to study the progress of each of their ward’s development and made sure that nothing untoward happened to prevent that holy matrimony, especially when the children’s parents liked and understood each other. This unique opportunity was happy time because the two concerned families did a lot of the work for the two main parties and as a result there was less stress on the children.

The most important part was the gathering of materials and equipments needed to make a home a wonderful one. Each of the families concentrated on organizing all the necessary things to take their ward into a union where they will need just a little more to be more than happy with each other. During those times the families involved enjoyed the union more than the main parties until the two parties are put together. Each partner made it a point to come with the little they could to make life after the event more cherished and fulfilling. In the end, just few marriages broke down and could not work because in those times, the families were more ‘married’ than the individuals and therefore they would want their family names to be treated with all the decorum. The family really made sure that the parties stayed with each other and work their issues out.

The opposite is what is happening now in our modern computerized globalized world. Each of the partners rather needs to do all the work and live almost nothing for the family to do. What the entire families do is just to say yes and we are ready to support you in whatever you do. The consequence is that, when something bad happens, the blame is always placed on the individuals for not being able to work their way around their own problems. And so, they should do whatever they think pleases them. Unfortunately for the young ones of the modern world, there is more work in almost every endeavour that is made available us. Marriage can therefore not be exempted and this phenomenon is contributing so much marriage breakdowns.

With the challenge of keeping with modernity has put so much strain on marriage in this global world. Some 40 percent or more of all marriages ends up divorce due various factors that have proved to be a challenge for many couples. There are people especially the young ones who have started entertaining the idea that marriages fail because the hopelessness that it seems to give in terms of its inability to serve as a check on society makes it irrelevant in the 21st century. Others also believe the arrangement itself is faulty.

Before you also decide to go along with this idea, take a look this scenario: Two couples buy the same model car at the same time. One couple maintains their vehicle well and drives it carefully. Their car does not break down. The other couple invests no time or energy in maintaining their vehicle, and they drive recklessly. That car breaks down and is abandoned. Where does the fault lie for the second outcome, with the car or with the owners? Obviously, the owners bear much of the responsibility.

Similarly, the fact that many marriages fail does not mean that the institution of marriage is somehow flawed. The millions of marriages that succeed prove otherwise. Those marriages bring happiness and stability to individuals, to families, and to communities. But marriages, like a car, needs good care and regular maintenance if it is to last.